Can I just say... I don’t have life together. I don’t know what I’m going to do next. I’m don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know who to befriend and who not to. I don’t know.
And that’s okay. God has a plan for each and every person on the planet. He has put together a life for you and planned out every thing that happens. Not only that but he is with you every step of the way.
Now even though I say that, it doesn’t make it all better. Right now, I’m confused. I’m scared. I’m annoyed. I’m jealous. I shouldn’t be though. Even though I trust God one hundred percent and I surrender to him... I’m a complete mess. When I go on Instagram I look at all the people I follow and all my friends and I get a little down. I compare my life to theirs and I shouldn’t do that because we are all different. It’s just so hard sometimes to see how successful someone is, or how happy they are in their relationship, engagement, or marriage, or even how much fun they’re having traveling the world. It’s hard to see so many things that you want happen for other people and nothing happen for you.
Its hard to watch all your friends go to school and graduate and for you to still be at home and working. You want to live your life to the fullest but it just feels like something is holding you down. Something is anchoring you and not letting you fly. Sometimes you have to let go of things that are holding you back. Sometimes you’re not going to know exactly what to do next or where to go. Most of the time you just won’t know. But he does.
God knows and that’s the most important thing that you can never forget. He has your best interest at heart. He knows what you need to go through or who you need to meet or when you need to be pushed out of a toxic situation or environment.
For me... I was all of the above. I lost people who I thought would be in my life till the end. I’m not in a relationship like I wanted to be by the age of 21. I’m Not in school graduating like all my other friends. I was pushed out of a toxic job and left confused. I am clueless and scared. But I KNOW that’s God has me and he hears my prayers.And for right now that’s okay with me. I surrender all my worries to him because he knows what’s best for me and it’s coming just like he promised. I just have to be patient and trust in him.
On July 4th, the craziest thing happened. I went outside my house to take photos with my sister (a normal thing we did every time we dressed up) and when I got back inside I looked through all the pictures. One in particular caught my eye... one where I was holding up a hand gesture that means hang tight. Now I have never in my life made that sign with my hands in any photos and that week I was going through a lot of confusion. But I was happy because I knew that God was with me. Seeing the sign hang tight made me feel like that was a message from God to hold on, sit tight and calm down, stop worrying and surrender, just hang tight.
That‘s why I’m writing this. This is for anyone who feels like me... lost, confused, scared. This is for someone who knows that something great is coming. This message is for you... hang tight and surrender.
